Damn foamies

I got the foamies today. I can't believe it. I'm over a year out. Surely this shouldn't still be happening to me.

It's my own damn fault. I decided to make PB and (SF) J on whole wheat mini-bagels for lunch. I also decided to measure everything to make sure my eyeballing measurements were still accurate. (I do this kind of re-calibrating on a regular basis. Otherwise, in spite of having better than average eyeballing skills, I find myself slowly upping my portion sizes.) Which means, instead of eating the amount I thought I could eat, I ate the amount I measured out. Then I ate it sitting at the computer and stopped paying attention until it was gone and it was too late.

Most of my foamy episodes come from one of two situations. Either I'm eating out with "normos" and get sucked into not wanting my food quantities to appear abnormal. Or I'm eating while doing something else and not paying attention.

Some day I'll learn...

In the meantime, part of me is kind of glad I've still got restriction because sometimes it seems like I haven't got nearly as much as I used to. I just wish I could figure out my sleeve is tighter than normal without a trip to the bathroom to barf up foamy saliva after feeling like a 10 lb. cat is sitting on my chest for as long as it takes me to give in to the inevitable and be willing to barf.

In case you haven't figured it out yet: I hate to barf, even if it feels good afterwards. But I hate feeling like a 10 lb. cat is sitting on my chest even more.

Redistribution

I promised to post my latest scar pix and haven't done it. Sorry about that. I'll try to get to them this week.

Anyway, it's been a few months since my weight stabilized and, at first, I was pretty scrawny on top. But, as I was hoping, things have redistributed. I still have pretty prominant collarbones but I've got less of a chicken wing chest and you can't see my ribs any more.

I also swear that my panus continues to get smaller. I guess I should do some measurements to check, but it seems like they don't change much. The change happens in places I don't measure so much.

I still have a lot of loose skin on my arms though and it continues to bug all out of proportion to the offense.

I'm also injured and not working out as much. I'm doing about half what I was doing. I think I needed this break in some ways. But I am concerned about weight gain. So far, my hunger has been keeping me around 112-114, which is good. But I haven't been good about getting in my protein, which combined with my low protein in my annual labs, is not good. I need to replace my dead Magic Bullet or my dead immersion blender or both. Using the regular blender isn't cutting it because the pitcher doesn't get washed every day.

Big Kahuna: DNF

And so my exciting first triathlon season ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

I had really looked forward to The Big Kahuna and thought it would not only be a perfect end to my season, but also set me up well for next season when I want to do an Ironman and also the Wildflower Long Course. I also wanted to do something to show how far I've come and how much improvement I've made.

But it all started to fall apart on Sept. 29th, when I tweaked my calf muscle at Track doing some hill repeats. I didn't realize I'd done anything significant to it as I just had a bit of tightness the next day that went away when I worked out. But I had a little tight spot, slightly more pain than normal, and, after I did the SJ Rock 'n Roll Half, I had a tear. (Or maybe I always had a tear and it just got bigger at that event.)

I still didn't think it was that big a deal. I still didn't realize at this point that I had a tear (it was a very, very small tear) and I thought it would work itself out as such things normally do. I iced it and skipped Track that week and everything seemed fine. I wasn't feeling it when I did my swim and bike and Crossfit workouts. It only hurt when I ran.

I took a week off from running and figured I'd be fine. But a mile into my Sunday night TT run, I could feel it. I could still run though so I finished off the TT. Looking back, that was probably a mistake, but it seemed reasonable at the time.

Given the pain, I took another week off from running sessions. But instead of getting better, everything got worse. I started having pain when I walked too. It moved up my calf to both knees and down into my other calf. I took it easy and hoped for the best. I iced, took NSAIDs only when I had to, used Tylenol PM to sleep at night, and did a lot of rubbing of the area.

The next time I ran was as a warm up for the US Woman's Triathlon Series in San Diego last week. By then, I was feeling it immediately into the run, not a mile in. But I could still run and I was still able to do quite well at that race.

But I knew I needed help and that this injury was not going to get better on its own. So I went to see my PCP and got a prescription for some PT. My first session was Thurs. and I woke up Friday with no pain! I was excited, but it didn't last.

I had two days off in my training plan, but I wanted to do something to loosen up on Sat. so I did a small bike ride. I took it easy and was mostly okay, but I could feel it a bit in my knees near the end of the ride, which I hadn't felt when biking before. Then, walking around downtown Santa Cruz, to the drugstore and out to dinner just put my knees in agony!

Fortunately (?) I didn't have a lot of time to think about this because, right as I finished eating dinner and was mentally rehearsing the next day, I realized I'd left my wetsuit in Fremont!! Ugh. I like to put it in the car last and I always worry about forgetting it. Figures it would finally happen for my last race of the season.

I raced out of the restaurant to my car, drove back home and then back to Santa Cruz. Of course, now all the parking spaces in the motel lot were taken and I had to park on the street. It also pushed my bedtime back as I had spent an hour and a half on the road that I could have spent getting ready.

So I went to bad annoyed. And wrapped in ice packs. And doped up on Tylenol PM. All of which seemed to have worked because I had no pain when I woke up. Which again didn't last. By the time I got to transition, I was feeling some twinges here and there.

SVTC had reserved racks and I was the first person from SVTC so I got to pick my spot. (It was primo.) I set up my transition area, did my port-a-potty break before there was a line, and went out for a little 10 min. jog to warm up. But I had to stop at 9.5 minutes due to the pain. Not good.

At this point, it was clear that my Half-ironman race was going to turn into an AquaBike. I figured I could still try to run, maybe five minutes on, five off, but mostly likely I'd be walking the run or even stopping. So I had already admitted to the possibility of a DNF. It would be okay though. Doing the swim and bike would still be helpful to assess my training and would still be a good challenge.

I put on my wet suit and walked down to the beach at 6:45 am along with everyone else. They had said we couldn't warm up in the water after 7:00 am when the first wave went off. So I dutifully went in to acclimate myself. Damn, the water was cold. I was able to get my face down into it, but it was tough. I am guessing the water was about 55-57 degrees.

I realized it was 6:59 before I felt fully at one with the water, so I turned back to shore and joined the huddled masses. And waited and waited and waited as we watched the fog roll in. It had been somewhat foggy when we got there, but by 7:30 am (when my wave was supposed to go off), you couldn't see much of anything for any distance. We certainly couldn't see the buoys or the lifeguards.

Eventually, they called off the swim. We all went to the swim finish line and waited for them to start the race. Of course, because I'd gone into the water, I was wet all over and freezing. People who had not gone into the water were much warmer. A nice woman lent me her swim coat for a while, but when she started getting goosebumps, I felt I had to give it back.

One good thing about the canceled start: I got in one last potty break and got to take my wetsuit off completely before my wave even started. Yes, the wet suit that I drove all the way to Fremont the night before to get and might as well not have bothered.

The gun for my wave went off around 8:47 and we took off for T1. I was running as fast as I could and doing fine at first but the pain came back and I started running slower and slower. Eventually, I had to stop and walk. But it hurt even to walk. I limped into T1 and changed for the bike.

I deliberately took my time, but as I was walking my bike to the mount area, I was in so much pain that I couldn't even think straight. I did have one sensible thought:

Why am I risking even more serious injury just for a bike ride?

I was seriously doubting I'd be able to finish the full 56 miles on the bike as well. I figured I could get to Davenport, but I'd probably have to be SAGed back to the start at that point. Not only that, but I've biked farther before and I'd biked The Big Kahuna course. So what would biking this event and then not doing the run do for me?

It wouldn't give me useful information for my training and it wouldn't give me the satisfaction of doing something I'd never done before. On the other hand, if I hurt myself worse, I could end up not being able to train for a few months, which could screw up next season.

So I walked over to a volunteer and handed him my timing chip and went back to my transition area and tried not to cry (both from the pain and from the frustration). Once I got myself together, I went to the medical tent, but they really couldn't do anything for me as they didn't have any ice there and I had Advil and Aleve on my bike. So I went back to the bike and started to pack up, second guessing myself all the way. Mr. Mac joined me at some point and helped.

We went back to the motel where the girls were playing on the computer still in bed. I took a shower, washed off my wet suit and encouraged them to get dressed and go for the free breakfast. Then we packed up, checked out, and went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

I didn't want to ruin their fun, but even with ice packs on both legs, I was still in some pain. So I went down to the beach to cheer on the finishers while they went on rides.

But even that hurt a bit. Not the painful, I'm going to start crying pain I had in the transition area (because ice is a wonder drug), but I was in enough pain that I was grumpy and couldn't concentrate on anything. After a while, my ice bags leaked and it hurt to sit so then I stood. Eventually, that hurt too.

I watched the probable winner and probable women's winner come through and rang my cow bell for them. I tried to wait for some SVTCers to come by, but the pain drove me back to the Boardwalk where they had benches. I sat a lot, watched the kids ride rides, and then went back to the finish line to get some food.

I didn't stay long though. I felt like a fraud (even though I'd paid my entry fee that was paying for that food) so I went back to the Boardwalk and rode the Merry-go-round with Mini-Mac. It actually hurt to get on the horse, but I had fun grabbing rings and trying to throw them into a clown's mouth. I started to feel a bit better and, luckily the kids were bored and wanted to go home, because I really needed more ice and pain killers and to take a nap.

So... did I do the right thing? Or was I a quitter because I didn't tough it out like Harriet Anderson who finished Kona with a broken clavicle after a crash on the bike course. (You go, Harriet!) Complicating this inner dialog is that fact that I knew after I biked the course back in late Aug. that I had gotten a fear of it due to the strong winds. Did I let that fear talk me out of doing the bike prematurely?

I have to admit that fear probably factored into my decision. But at the same time, the only time I'm not in pain is when I'm iced up. Drugs help, but aren't enough. It's not excruciating pain, but it's there and it's constant and it only doesn't hurt when it's numb from having ice on it.

So, while starting on the bike would have shown me for sure if I could do it or not rather than always wondering if I could have done it, I know I couldn't do the run, not even as a walk. In other words, I would have DNFed anyway.

Conclusion: I really did the sensible thing even if it galls me to give up like that.

In the meantime, I'm going to take it easy for a while. Maybe just swim and do modified strength and conditioning workouts along with my PT. Once I'm healed up, I'll work on my running form so this doesn't happen again.

I'm going to be unhappy for a while though. I feel like I need to mope a bit more to get it out of my system before I can go back to my normal "look on the bright side" approach to life. I eventually got over walking that one bike hill at Wildflower, but this is going to be harder because I can't say "at least I finished" or "I had a PR on the bike" or anything else too positive.

I did learn things, though. In particular I learned how my body feels when it's truly injured verses just a normal ache and pain. I learned a bit about fear too. So at least there is that.

My GOTRIbal Weekend: US Women's Tri Series and Lunch with Chrissie

Today I met Chrissie Wellington and passed her on the bike. Three times.

But let's start at the beginning.

A few months ago, I was reading Chrissie's blog and she mentioned a group called GOTRIbal -- a group dedicated to empowering women through sport, particularly triathlon. One of the things that surprised me when I first started doing triathlons was how male-dominated the sport is. Given that swimming, biking and running are not particularly masculine activities and lots of women do them, I just assumed that lots of women did triathlons. I assumed wrong.

But I love triathlon so much that I decided I had to help change that. So I started evangelizing my sport. To anyone who would listen, but mostly to women. But I'm just one person. Here was an entire group all working towards the same goal. Just think how many more women I could get into the sport if I was working with a group.

So I signed up, joined the SF "tribe" and started visiting the site irregularly. I saw there was going to be a big meeting in San Diego -- a kind of expo/clinic/party called GOTRIbal Fest. Plus a bunch of the local women were going to do the U.S. Women's Triathlon Series Sprint triathlon the next day. This was the weekend before Big Kahuna so I was hesitate to spend it traveling and tri-ing, but eventually the lore of hanging out with my "peeps" go to me and I ended up signing up. In a rare moment of caution, I signed up for the "Super" Sprint instead of the full Sprint.

Then, at some point, the Fest morphed into a bike ride and lunch with Chrissie Wellington taking place after the race. And my plane trip by myself turned into a road trip with my daughter, who wanted to spend the weekend with her favorite cousin and get Chrissie's autograph. I have to say, with completely honesty, that the new plans actually appealed to me much more than the original plans. Plus, it made doing the Super Sprint that much more sensible.

Mini-Mac and I took off late Thurs. so we wouldn't get in too late on Friday. We made great time and hung out at Downtown Disney for lunch, getting into San Diego around 4:00 pm. We visited a bit, I took a shower, and then took off for a party a local triathlete was throwing. When I got there I found out that Chrissie had given a talk at the local tri club and I'd missed it! Shoot.

I got to meet some of the GOTRIbal girls and a bunch of local triathletes. I also ran into someone I knew from home -- he used to belong to my club and just moved down here. Everyone was very nice and told me that next time I'm down here, I have to check out the club website to see what's up.

Saturday morning, some of us met at La Jolla Shores for an Open Water Swim followed by a run and breakfast. Except it was lunch by the time we were done. I didn't run because of my problems with my calf, but I did swim and I had great time.

Then I took a break from GOTRIbal to spend some time with Mini-Mac and my family and friends.

Sunday morning, the alarm went off at 4:15 am and I had the same thought I always have whenever I have to get up at the crack of dawn to go to a race. Why the heck do I do this?! It was horribly foggy on the drive down to Mission Bay, too. I was worried the race would be postponed, but it was totally clear in the parking lot.

I must have still not been quite awake though as I ended up moving my bike three times to get a better transition spot. They were throwing us out of transition 15 minutes before the race started, which also through off my pre-race timeline. My warm-up 15 minute run showed that my leg is still not better as well.

But I felt good and loose and I was sure I'd have a good race, bad leg or no bad leg. I chatted with Brenda from AZ, another GOTRIbal girl, who was in my wave until it was time to get in the water and I had the boyfriend of another GOTRIbal girl hold my flip flops (which I forgot to take off before leaving transition). I also had to take a last potty break AFTER I had completely donned my wet suit. Blah. I missed watching the boat go around the Super Sprint course to show us where to turn because of that, but the course was pretty straightforward and I figured I'd just follow everyone else. Basically, nothing was phasing me at this point.

They horn went off, I pushed the start button on my Garmin and took off. I felt strong and I got into a breathing rhythm right away. TriBobbie, the San Diego GOTRIbal chief, and OWS coach for TCSD had been adamant that we shouldn't waste energy kicking when swimming in salt water and I mostly listened to her. As a result, I was passing people like crazy. I actually caught up to the wave in front of us and passed a bunch of them too.

I ran out of the water and into T1 and ripped off my wetsuit. I had already pared down my transition plans to the bare minimum -- no gloves, no sunglasses, nothing but shoes, helmet and bike. Oh and socks. (I have GOT to learn to bike sockless.)

I was a bit shakier than I expected trying to get my socks and shoes on, but I was on pace for a normal two minute-ish T1 time when I managed to get the sleeve of my wetsuit caught in the spokes of my back wheel. Crap! I did have a thought -- there goes any hope of a podium finish -- but it was fleeting and I was still sure I could do it.

I ran out of T1 with my bike and then couldn't clip in. But I managed to get out on the course and then I started passing people again. I was passing people in wave 14 (I was in wave 16) and passing people who were doing the Sprint. I was passing everyone, pretty much. Then a gal in black and red passed me. Then I passed her. We exchanged places for a while until a third gal came up. We spent the rest of the bike route racing each other and passing everyone else. It was like we were in our own race. My goal was to be in front when we got to T2 and I think I did it.

T2 went okay though I had a moment of panic when I couldn't see my number on the end of my race belt. (It has curled up and around at some point.) I also realized I had left my Garmin on the bike. I actually thought of going back to get it before sanity prevailed and I just ran out without it.

Without a pace, I went out way too fast, but that was somewhat my plan. I wanted to do the 1.5 as a time trial -- basically sprint it -- but I couldn't really hold that. This was mostly because of the leg. I could feel the knee stiffening up as I ran and it just wouldn't go any faster.

Instead, I found someone who was running slightly faster than me and just hung on to them. I did have a vague plan that I'd sprint in at the end and smoke them but apparently they had the same thought (about sprinting, not about me as I doubt they were aware of my existence) and I wasn't able to keep up once they started their finish line sprint. (I need to work on that.)

But I had a good run. I wasn't sure how fast but I figured I'd kept to my goal of a 9:00 min mile pace, more or less. I crossed the finish line, gave up my timing chip and got my finishers medal. As I made my way over to the grub, I realized I hadn't noticed my time on the race clock. Since we weren't allowed back into transition until everyone was out on the run, that was my only clue as to how I'd done. It turns out there was no race clock. Shoot.

I hoped that they'd post the result and announce the age group winners before I had to leave for the Ride with Chrissie. But it turned out they didn't post any results. I was able to stay for the awards though, which were done at breakneck speed (thanks!) but the 3rd place in my age group came in at 51:something and I didn't podium so I figured I had taken longer than 50 minutes.

I guess I should have been disappointed as I'd had two goals for the race (well besides the usual of "finish" and "have fun") and I hadn't made either of them. But I was pretty sure I'd had my first FOP finish and I'd had so much fun and felt like I'd done as well as I possibly could so I really couldn't be disappointed. Plus, I was taking off to ride around Coronada Island with Chrissie Wellington, current and three-time Woman's World Ironman Champion and current World Record holder and current Kona course record-holder. How could I be disappointed?!

We made it to Coronada and hooked up with Chrissie who was easily talking to the girls just like a regular person out for a bike ride. She was dressed in the same type of outfit that she does her Ironmans in rather than a bike jersey, which I thought was interesting. I thought about trying to talk to her then, but there were so many people and I didn't really have anything in particular to say at that point.

I did catch part of a discussion about aero bars that I wish I had heard the whole thing since I have aero bar issues that I'm trying to resolve. It would be so cool to get advice on solving them from the current World Champion. But I had a more burning question I wanted to ask when the time came so I put the aero bars out of my mind.

We took off on the ride and I ended up near the front because we were going slow to we'd all stay together. Chrissie started at the back and slowly made her way up the line talking to everyone. In the meantime, I paired off with different girls and we talked shop and other things.

Then I realized that Chrissie was right behind me. My turn was next! I dropped back a bit and the next thing I knew, Chrissie and whomever she was talking with were in front me. If she kept up her pattern of moving up, I'd missed my shot!

So I had to do the arrogant thing of passing the World Champion on the bike to get back in line. I actually had to do this several times. One time another gal and I made a big joke of it and sprinted past her cheering each other on. I think that amused her.

Finally, I heard Chrissie talking about something I was interested in so I hung back a bit and threw in my 2 cents. That caused her to move up and there we were biking and chatting. I told her that I'd found GOTRIbal through her and how important it was to me to bring more women into the sport. We talked a bit about why women aren't here and a bit about my season. She told me that I was going to love doing a HIM. (I think she's right.) I told her I was going to do IMAZ next year and she was excited about that.

Then I asked my burning question: how much long stuff does she do and does she still only run 2 hours at once like she said she did back in an interview I heard when she first won Kona. She told me more about the incident they talked about in the interview -- where she was told to run two hours and instead ran three because the other girls were running three and she wanted to prove she could keep up and how her coach gave her quite the talking to. She said it really stuck with her -- that we're all individuals and were given different plans for a reason.

And she does only run two hours at a time! We talked quite a bit about quality over quantity and how that's really important for Age Groupers because our time was limited. She told me my coach has the right idea and I shouldn't get nervous that I'm not going big long rides and runs like everyone else. (If you are reading this Coach, I hope you are smiling.)

Then she asked if we could stop so she could use the restroom along the bike path. We all did and, since I'd had to pee since about mile 10, I ran to the restroom too (along with a few others). So now I've not only biked with Chrissie ... I've done the ultimate Girl Bonding Thing -- gone to the restroom together.

When we got back to the bikes, I let her move up the line again and went back to talking with some of my new pals. I hope she got to the front of the line before we got to the park where we had lunch.

Lunch was terrific. I had seconds, which I usually can't do, but I always eat like crazy after both a race and a bike ride. We also all had our picture taken as a group and some nice, patient man with a British accent took our pictures with about 50 cameras. He didn't seem to mind at all. (I should have guessed at this point that he was Chrissie's boyfriend.)

As we ate lunch, different people asked Chrissie questions. Someone else asked about her training and she said "As I was saying to Marie on the ride..." See -- I told you she remembered my name. She had to leave in the middle for a quick interview so we had a raffle until she came back and answered some more questions.

Then it was time for pictures and autographs. Mini-Mac had asked for an autograph so I had her do a poster of her winning Kona for her. For me, I had her sign my shirt. I had this idea that when I worked out or raced and wore it, it would be inspirational. Except later I realized that I probably can't wash it now or it will wear out. I'll figure something out.

At the end, there were goodies left over so I grabbed some towels and water bottles for the kids. I noticed a couple were autographed by Chrissie. So I got one of those! Except again I can't wash it as I know from experience that "permanent" marker washes out in the dishwasher. I'll have to keep it with my various collections at work.

We took the ferry back to San Diego and I went home and looked my times up on the internet. I GOT FOURTH PLACE IN MY AGE GROUP! Not only that, my time was also 51:something so I was :that close: to placing. Plus my T1 time was about 45 seconds longer than it was in my last race and that's about how long I futzed with my stuck wetsuit. So my T1 thought was prophetic.

I came in 55 out of 356 overall too. I can't believe it. Top 15% finish! I knew I'd had a good race even if it took me slightly longer than I expected (I think the swim was longer than the advertised .25 miles--it felt longer than my last .25 mile swim and took me two minutes longer too), but not that good. I'm so stoked!

I can't wait for Big Kahuna next week, but I think I need to get some PT on my leg in the meantime or I'm going to be majorily hosed on the run. I can tough out a 1.5 mile run, but a 13.1 mile run is harder to get through with a painful, stiff knee and aching calf.

P.S. I can't post pictures right now, but I will when I get home.

One Year Check-up

I had mine with Dr. Awesome today. It's actually been almost 13 months, but close enough.

We mostly went over my labs as I really didn't have any questions or concerns for a change. Short report: My labs are mostly good except for my protein levels. We talked a LOT about that.

But first, the details:

-Platelets and blood counts are good.

-Potassium, which has been low in the past, is trending up

-Glucose is trending down. This is good.

-My lipid panel is excellent. Overall cholesterol is up a bit, but:

--Triglycerides cut in half

--Good cholesterol is up and now in the healthy range after being too low pre-op

--Bad cholesterol is down. It was good before, but now it's even better

-PTH, Vitamin D and Calcium are all good. Serum calcium has been low in the past but now it's right in the middle of the range. PTH is at the low end, trending slightly down. Vitamin D is at the upper end, but not so high that there is no room for improvement. Now that winter is here, I'm going to start taking my 50,000 IUs every week instead of every other week

-B12 is trending up

-B6 is high, but that's okay

-Iron is trending up (it's three times higher than in December)

-Ferritin is okay

-Thyroid and liver functions are good too

I was kind of hoping that most of my values would be on the high end so that I could stop taking so many vitamins, but that is not to be. The labs show that what I am taking is working, but don't show that I'm taking too much of anything.

Now, for the protein... it's been low since I gave blood back in 2008 at seven weeks out. My albumin is within normal range, but is also on the low side. Therefore, I need to work on this.

I pointed out that I average 125-135 g of protein a day. Dr. Awesome countered that I also exercise like a fiend and that, while this is a lot for some people, my labs show it's not enough for me.

So we talked about how to get more in. He suggested another protein shake. He's also unhappy that I'm eating so many protein bars. Actually, I'm not happy about it either. They are easy, but they give me gas and they aren't necessarily made from high quality ingredients. Plus, they are boring to be eating 2-3x a day.

This led Dr. Awesome to speculate that maybe it's not the quantity of protein that's a problem, but the quality. Yes, the bars are made from whey (mostly), but they are processed out the ying-yang and that processing could be breaking down the protein, making it less useable.

So he wants me to:

-spread my protein out more throughout the day

-use shakes and natural foods as my primary sources of protein

-possibly have a second lunch in the afternoon rather than a light snack or a protein bar as I had been doing (actually, that one was my idea, but he liked it)

I do get most of my protein in my breakfast shake (when I have one and don't grab a bar on the way out the door) and in the evening. So spreading it out should probably help. I've actually been trying to do that forever. I guess I'll have to stop trying and start doing. (To quote Yoda.)

I also tend to go for a light snack in the afternoon and it rarely holds me. So then I'm raiding my supply closet for something to supplement and it's usually a bar. When I get home, dinner is often over and it's often something like pizza. So I grab a bar instead. That means most days I'm having 2-3 bars a day.

That's just way too many bars. They should be an occasional thing, not an every day thing and definitely not a several times a day thing.

So I need to work on this. I also need to go back to finding a way to make my own bars so I can control the ingredients. I had tried that for a while, then given up. Time to get back on the baking horse, I'm thinking.

Other than the protein issue, I'm good to go. I'm to go back in February, which is four months from now.

Oh and our NUT is talking about doing triathlons! She did a marathon (impressive) and now she says she's hooked and wants to add biking and running. I'm going to send her some links to get started. I have a passion for recruiting women into the sport of triathlon so you can imagine how excited I am right now.

San Jose Rock 'n Roll Marathon (of Death)

I can't believe I never got around to writing a race report for this event. It was a very important one in my new life as a triathlete, too.

I woke up Sunday morning and made my morning protein shake. I figured I wouldn't be able to drink 16 oz. in the car so I made a single serving version. This turned out to be less than optimal as I was hungry when I got to downtown San Jose. I also had to poop, but I couldn't. (I know -- TMI. But it turns out to be important and I couldn't think of any other way to say it.)

I had foolishly not drank enough water the day before, I think. So I knew that a potty break in the middle of the race was a 100% certainty.

This had actually been a big fear of mine after my disastrous 10 mile run where I almost didn't make it to a port-a-potty in time. But faced with it as an inevitability, I was calm. I hadn't been doing any long runs for a while, for one reason or another, so I figured that I'd run half the distance, take a short port-a-porty break and run the second half. It would be like doing two 10ks and I knew I could knock out a 10k without much drama. So it made the whole thing seem that much more doable.

I got to the race site about an hour before they would let us into the corrals and 1.5 hours before the race started, but I had this nagging feeling the whole time that I was running late. I think that's because I'm conditioned to show up two hours before the start as is the norm for a triathlon. It's not for a running race.

Once there, I ran into some friends from my tri club, had a banana, and hung out. One of them decided to warm up so I did too. I wasn't sure if I should, but I'm glad I did. First, as I set out on my "easy" jog to get the juices flowing, I realized I was running much faster than I expected to. I was going around 9:30 per mile and it felt good -- nice and easy, not like I was going out at 5k pace. Second, I think it really helped my performance. Studies say it does, but sometimes studies aren't directly applicable to an individual.

I solemnly swear, I will always warm up for at least 10 min. from now on.

My original plan was to start out at an 11:00 min per mile pace and see what happened. I figured I could dial it back, if that was too hard and unsustainable, or I could ramp it up, if it was too easy. I had trained up through July to run at that pace. After July, my training ran off-plan in various ways so I was going in somewhat blind as to what a good pace would be. The run pace calculators told me 11 minutes and a 2:25 finish. Well, with 9:30 feeling easy, the 11 minute place plan went right out the window.

I decided to just run and see what happened. I would try to maintain a pace under 10:00 and see if I could do it for the entire distance. I ran the risk of bonking at the end, but I really didn't think I would.

So that's what I did.

But first I had to go find my spot in the corral. I got right in front of the 8000 sign and was hanging out when I realized everyone around me had 9000 numbers. Apparently the signs were at the back of the section for each set of numbers. So I made my way into the 8000s but was not able to get to the front. Given that I probably should have been in the 7000s section, this was annoying. But, again, nothing I could do about it.

I bounced around to keep warm, had a Clif Shot Blok, and, at about five minutes after eight, the race started. I walked, then slow-jogged up to the start line, crossed over the timing mat and pushed the button on my Garmin to start my personal timer.

Then I spent the first half of the race making my way up past all the people I probably should have started in front of and then I just kept passing people and looking at my watch. I started out at about 9:25 pace, which was probably a bit too fast, but it felt good so I went with it. I passed the 2:15 pace runner and started looking for the 2:00 pace runner. I didn't really think I could do that pace, but I thought it might be a good idea to at least try for a while.

I also divided my first 10k into two 5ks. I took in a Shot Blok at each 5k and drank from my Fuel Belt of Infinit whenever I felt the need. I skipped the first aide station -- too crowded and I didn't want to slow down -- but supplemented with water at subsequent ones.

Now, normally I would not do Shot Bloks on the run. Chewing anything while running more than 5k gives me gastric issues. I don't even gel when I run normally. But this time I was deliberately trying to move things along, if you get my drift.

It worked too, because right around 10k I knew I could go if I could only find an open port-a-potty. It took three tries, but I did eventually find an open one. I took my break and set off refreshed. Or so I thought.

But very soon after, the thing that always happens to me after around 5.5 - 6.5 miles and an hour of running happened. I started to get sore. My hips and knees were killing me. Plus, all through the race, I was slowing down slightly. But I knew I could run like that, so I just kept going.

But then, at around 10 miles, the unthinkable happened. My calves started acting up. I had tweeked the left one at Track practice the Tues. before, but I thought it was minor and healed. It was not and my left calf started hurting like I'd pulled something. It also made me run funny which made my knees burn. Well, running that distance also was making them burn.

Then, both calves started tightening up. That had never happened to me before. I wasn't sure what to do, but I only had three miles to go and I was still under a 10 min. pace. So I just kept going. I did slow down a bit, hoping that wold help.

Somewhere between mile 10 and 12, I saw a lady face down on the ground, perfectly still with emergency medical volunteers attempting to turn her over. That freaked me out a bit, but I put it out of my mind. At mile 12, I was down to 9:54 pace and worried I'd slip over the 10 min. pace. I really wanted to finish strong so I figured I could do anything for one mile and I'd just pay the price the next day.

Oddly enough, pushing myself seemed to loosen my calf muscles a bit. Though I suppose it could have been an illusion. I know my official splits show that each split slower than the last so probably my "pushing" was also a bit of an illusion -- I wasn't going faster, just not going a slow as if I wasn't pushing.

At mile 13, I decided to go nuts and finish strong. A guy in front of me stumbled and had to be helped up by a volunteer. He waved them off, but he was really out of it and I worried about him. I didn't worry about me though because it was only my calves, knees and hips that hurt. My heart and lungs were fine.

I ran over the last timing mat and pushed the stop button on my watch. 2:11!! In spite of slowing down all through the race, I managed to go about 14 min. faster than I thought I could. I was stoked! Now, I had no idea how many seconds there were, but I didn't care, either. I was so excited, I ran around telling anyone who would listen: 2:11! and then showing them my watch. Oh and eating everything in sight. And going to the port-a-potty every 20 minutes.

It seems that I was a little over-zealous in my efforts to get my plumbing moving and I couldn't stop what I had started. So my strategy worked for a 13.1 mile race, but would have been a disaster for a full marathon. I'll remember that for next time.

I hooked back up with my friends and we wandered around. They had good races too, so we were all very happy. Eventually, we ran out of stuff to see and food to eat so we went home.

I immediately went to bed to take a nap. I was cold, so I put on my electric blanket. But I couldn't sleep, which was probably a good thing, because eventually my brain turned on and I realized I needed ice on my legs, not heat. So I got some ice packs and tied them all over the various hurting parts and watched some TV until the ice melted. Oh, and ate some more.

And then ate some more... I ate all day and night until bedtime. (And a bit the next day too.)

I also looked up my results -- I was in the top 20% in my age group! And top 35% for all women. Only top 45% for all racers, but I still consider this a FOP (Front of the pack) finish. My first one!

I also kept searching the internet to see what had happened to the two people I saw in trouble. I figured, if they were fine, there'd be no mention in the news and there wasn't -- just an article about who won. Whew.

Except it turned out my relief was premature. The next day there were articles about two deaths, a man and a woman, and everyone who raced was talking about it. They said the two people who died collapsed right around where I saw them too. So it might have been the ones I saw. Which makes it all more personal somehow, even though that's not logical.

Logical or not, I was a bit shocked. I don't really think of what I do as dangerous. Yes, triathletes die in the swim, but I'm a strong (if slow) swimmer. Yes, people die on the bike course, by it's generally by being hit by cars. You can be hit by a car just walking down the street. I think I'm probably just in denial, because I'm not going to stop racing just because it can be dangerous. It's too much fun.

The other thing I need to say is: I will never doubt my coach again! He said I didn't need to do a lot of long runs to be able to complete this race and he said, if I listened to him and did what he said, I would move up in my age group. And he was right on both counts.

Now, I'd only been doing Crossfit Endurance for two weeks when I ran this race, so probably I can't give it all the credit. But I know I got faster in the run when I started doing strength training with a trainer and I got dramatically faster once I started adding in the Crossfit workouts. The basic principle is, in my opinion, sound. (Or I wouldn't have started doing it.)

But I admit I had my doubts. Well, not any more!

I also now realize that I can do it. Not finish races. I always knew I could do that. But finish races with good performances? That's another matter. A part of me thought I'd never run any race under a 10 min per mile pace. At least not this season and maybe not ever.

Now I want to do a 5k under 9 minutes and I actually believe I can do it. I believe I can be a FOP racer some day, at least at the shorter distances. I'm even going to try to podium at my Super Sprint this weekend. It's unlikely, but it's within the realm of possibility, so I intend to try.

It's been a year

So this is it... my very own "I'm one year out!" post. Yes, it's been a year since I had my surgery.

In that time I've lost:

-110 pounds (give or take depending on the day)
-97.5 inches

-my ravenous appetite
-at least 38% body fat (I'm having trouble getting an accurate measurement on this one)

And I've gained:

-a whole lot of new friends, both online and in real life
-an athlete's body and lifestyle
-my life back

Okay, I didn't really get my life back. I got somebody else's much more fun and exciting life.

That's because I started this journey as a head and now I'm a whole body. Which is my way of saying I've transformed myself from a very intellectual person who would rather read a book or have an analytical discussion and ignored my body into an endurance athlete who loves the outdoors and can't stop moving and loves my body.

I also have seen a great improvement in my health. I'm off my blood pressure meds and my blood pressure is normal. My GERD is much improved, but I'm still on a PPI and I have to admit I'm slightly disappointed in that. Losing weight also helped with my plantar fasciitis, which is in remission even though I run several times a week. It also helped my "allergies" but only because many of my symptoms were actually undiagnosed GERD. My joints are a lot less creaky too.

I did my 1 year labs but they haven't been posted to my PAMF online account due to a technicality so I don't know what they look like, yet. My 3 month labs were quite good though and I'm not expecting any surprises. I'll see them when I go in for my official one year follow-up visit with Dr. Awesome, if I can't get them posted sooner than that.

It didn't do anything for my incontinence though. Actually, I think it might have made it worse. Therefore, I finally gave in and went on VESIcare to relax my bladder. It's been amazing and I wish I'd started taking it sooner.

My pap and mammogram and DEXA scan were all normal as well though apparently I do have some slight scoliosis -- my spin curves slightly to the right. However, I used to have a hump and that is mostly gone. I'm also shorter than I was a year ago. (I have always gone up and down in height by about 1/2 an inch and losing weight apparently hasn't changed that--I was hoping I'd get taller!)

How did I do it? (Everyone asks me this)

I was very strict during the first 6-7 months of the weight loss phase. I journaled everything I ate and every exercise I did. I kept my carbs pretty low. I kept down the treats. As a result, I lost pretty fast. I got to my initial goal of a normal BMI at 6.5 months and continued to lose after that. I also never stalled. I am sure that is because (a) I was strict with myself and (b) I tracked everything so I could see when I was getting off track before it led to a stall.

I also exercised much more than average. At first this was solely motivated by the desire to lose weight. But once I signed up for my first triathlon, everything changed. It gave me athletic goals outside of weight loss. I had paces I wanted to improve and distances I wanted to conquer. And that meant increasing the time and the intensity of my training.

The great thing about having fitness goals outside of weight loss is that now that I've lost all the weight I want to, I still have reasons to keep moving. This helps with maintaining my weight even if that's not really my motivation any more. Previously, once I was at goal, I couldn't motivate myself to keep exercising.

Did you ever expect to get this small and fit? (Another question I get asked a lot.)

My answer is No, but also Yes.

When I first started looking into weight loss surgery, I was thinking of my goal weight in dieter's terms. I figured I could get down to 145 lb. and maybe stay there. I wanted to be a size 12, or better yet a 10, if I could get there.

But as I researched more and read more people's stories, I started to see that WLS is not like dieting. I saw people get down to healthy BMIs and become athletes. Eventually, I decided I wanted that transformation for myself. Did I think I could get it? Most of me doubted. But I opened myself up to it and I think that's all it took -- being open to transformation.

How much can you eat? (This question comes up all the time on the boards.)

I can eat a lot. I consume an average of 2000 calories a day. I've gradually moved up to that in order to stop my weight loss. I do have to work at it though. I have to eat three meals and three snacks and also I need to consume calories around my workouts that are separate from my meals and snacks.

I can eat anywhere from 3 oz. to 7 oz. depending on what it is, how slow I eat, if I take a break and finish the rest of the meal later, etc. At seven months out, I took the cottage cheese test and was able to eat 5 oz. of cottage cheese. This surprised me as Dr. Awesome is known for making very small sleeves, yet I had one of the higher numbers among the group that took this test. Today I repeated it and I could eat 6-7 oz! (I didn't have tub so my measurements weren't as exact as I would have liked.)

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I want as much restriction as possible as I'm deathly afraid of regain. On the other, it would be nice to go out to eat with people and be able to eat enough that they don't comment on how little I can eat.

What are the bad things about the sleeve/surgery?

To some extent, there aren't any. I'm wildly happy with how everything has turned out. I got healthier and thinner. I've made all my goals and then some.

However, I did have my "pissy period" where I was constantly annoyed with how little I could eat and worried that I'd be like that forever (even though I knew in my head that I'd be able to eat more as time went on). And there are still times I eat too much and get pain or "the foamies" even at one year out.

I have to take a lot of vitamins too. I don't really mind this as much as I used to, but there are times when I'm with "civilians" and they don't understand. I like to be normal and taking vitamins four times a day isn't normal.

Also, as I said already, I'm still on my PPI. That is also annoying. I'm positive that my heartburn is being caused by something I'm eating, but I can't figure out what.

But that's about it.

Do you follow all the rules?

I still journal all my food and I plan to continue until I get comfortable enough to be able to know how my eating is going without it. I'm not at that point yet, but I hope to be some day.

I don't drink with my meals. I do sometimes start drinking before 45 minutes are up, either because I forget what time I stopped eating or because I got behind in my drinking and am worried I won't get enough fluid in. I do find that I get hungrier if I don't wait the full 45 min. or more, so I try not to do this.

The exception is for what I call "fueling". When I'm on a four hour bike ride, I can't be waiting 45 min. to drink after having a gel or I'll get dehydrated. So "fueling" is all about slider foods and drinking while I eat and drinking my calories. If I think of it as "fueling" with its own rules, it doesn't lead to bad habits though. At least not so far.

I eat foods that my surgeon tells us we should never eat again. I won't say "bad" foods, becauseI don't think of foods that way and I think putting foods in good and bad buckets is actually not mentally healthy.

Instead, I have my nutritional goals. I try to eat 1640 calories a day plus whatever calories I've burned in exercise. I try to get at least 115 grams of protein. I try to keep my carbs under 200 grams a day -- around 175 grams on average. If I do that, then I maintain and my eating is relatively healthy and I feel in control of my eating.

If I can do that and have a small piece of brownie and I feel like having a brownie, then I do. If I find myself craving all sorts of slider foods and eating three brownies a day -- even if I am still meeting my nutritional goals -- then I'll cut back on the treats for a while, because clearly I've crossed some sort of line and, long term, that kind of eating will not allow me to maintain.

I weigh myself every day, but I only record my weight on Mondays. If my weight goes over 115 pounds at any time, then I consciously cut back even if means "depriving" myself. (But I don't think of it that way, either. I think of it as the natural consequence of over-indulging.) If my weight goes under 110 pounds, then I eat more, because I don't want to have too low body fat or be all skin and bones.

Obviously, I also still exercise. I'm currently aiming for 10 hours a week on average. And I'm going to sign up to do my first Ironman next year. That may or may not change my training. I have a triathlon coach now, so I just do what he says.

Pictures

My final stats

Weight Loss:

Start Weight: Fluctuated between 220.5 and 223.5

Weight Day of Surgery: 191

Current weight: 111.8 this morning, but it still fluctuates a lot; it's usually in the 111-114 range but has been as low as 108.7 and as high as 115.5.

Goal weight: 110-115

Monthly Losses:

Highest Weight: 223 (as of Feb. 2008)
Weight Date of Surgery: 191 - 32 lb. loss in 7 months
First month: 179, 12 lb. loss
Second month: 167, 12 lb. loss
Third month: 159, 8 lb. loss
Fourth month: 151, 8 lb. loss
Fifth month: 144, 7 lb. loss
Sixth month: 134, 10 lb. loss
Seventh month: 128, 8 lb. loss
Eighth month: 122, 6 lb. loss
Ninth month: 116, 6 lb. loss
Tenth month: 113, 3 lb. loss

Eleventh month: 113, 0 lb. loss

Inches lost:

Body Part	Original Measure- ments	1 year	Total Lost
Bust	48	31	17
Chest	43	28	15
Waist	41	27	14
Stomach	53	35	18
Hips	51	35	16
Thigh	25	17	8
Calf	16.5	13.5	3
Arm	15	8.5	6.5
TOTAL:			97.5

Put on my big girl panties

So yesterday my trainer calls me -- he's sick and can't make our session this morning. No big deal, I think. I'll do a Group Power class at the gym. That's weight lifting in a group to music. I call it "chick-lifting" -- weight lifting for chicks. Kind of strange, but it's a decent workout for people like me who never know what to do when they go to the gym by themselves. And, if there isn't a Group Power class, there is bound to be a Boot Camp or Body Sculpt or Abs & Core class.

Except there isn't. Not on Wednesday before 9:00 am anyway.

Okay, Plan B. I'll show up at Crossfit San Jose for the 7:00 am class and hope they let me take it. Yeah, the web site is adamant that you have to take the "Intro to Crossfit" class first, but my triathlon coach, Coach B, teaches there and thinks they'll let me skip it. Except what if they don't? I'll have gone all the way to Campbell for nothing and then I won't have time to go to the gym.

Okay, maybe there is some drop-in thing I can do with Coach B. I think he does something on Wednesdays. But I can't find it on his web site. Since he does these things in random locations and random times around town, I can't show up unless I know where and when.

Maybe I can do some sort of crossfit workout I pull from the web. Nope. Can't find anything that I could do on my own -- they all require equipment I haven't got or techniques I haven't learned yet.

Okay, time to put on my big girl panties and deal. It is possible to go to the gym and workout without a trainer. I always feel like an idiot when I do and I'm always sure I'm doing everything wrong, but it's only one day. So what if I don't use the exact right weights and the exact right number of reps, or the perfect set of exercises, right?

So I went. I did all the exercises I remembered how to do that fit into half an hour (which is all I had by the time I got there and warmed up.) Hopefully I did okay.

Here is what I did (with my made-up names for what they are):

Warm-up: 5 min. jog, starting at 2.5 mph and working up to 6.0 mph and back down again.
20 Step-ups with no weights (You step up onto a platform with one foot over and over; then 20 on the other foot.)
20 Kettlebell Swings. (I have no idea how much weight because, of course, I picked the one kettlebell in the place that had its markings worn off. I'm guessing it was 25-28 lb. It was definitely freaking heavy.)
20 Step-ups with weights - 7.5 lb. in each hand for a total of 15 pounds.
20 more Kettlebell Swings
12 arm/chest presses seated (arms at 90 degrees, press up to meet above my head), 12.5 lb. weights in each hand (25 lb. total)
12 of same only lying down, same weights
8 more seated (I was afraid I'd bonk myself if I did more.)
12 more lying down
3 sets of 12 leg presses, 25 lb. weights on each side, 50 lb. total. (This is a machine you kind of sit in only upside down and your legs push a platform up and down.)
12 chest pulls with 30 lb. (Another machine -- you sit and lean back a bit and pull a bar down to around your chest area. It works the back too.)
12 more with 40 lb.
20 more with 30 lb. (I think I should have started with more weight.)
1 min. plank (ooh, pilates!)
10 leg lifts on a mat (more pilates stuff)
20 crunches, legs at 90 degrees
1 min. 30 seconds bridge (Well, that's what it's called in gymanstics. But I had my shoulders and head on a stability ball instead of propping myself up with my hands.)
20 tricep dips (I was going to do them when I was in the weight room, but I forgot)

I also took pictures of all the equipment I can use to do strength training so Coach B can work me up some routines for the future. People gave me weird looks for that. Oh well. No one stopped me.

You need to gain weight!

So people have been saying that to me lately. I think it's weird because my weight has been relatively stable for about two months. It goes down a bit and then comes back up and then goes down again. But my clothes fit the same and I don't really look any thinner than when people weren't saying this to me.

It's interesting that I'm getting these comments right about when I think I'm the perfect size. I know a lot of people who get them when they are still technically obese! In those cases, it's clear that the problem is with the person making the comment. They would think someone else at that weight needs to lose (at least) 25 lb. and only think their friend is "too thin" because they aren't used to seeing them so small.

But that never happened to me. People were still giving me kudos for losing up until I got to a normal weight. I'm not sure what the difference is, but I guess I'm glad I didn't have to deal with people having a hard time with my losing. But it also made me wonder what was up!

It doesn't make me wonder now though. I don't think I'm anorexic and can't see I'm too thin. My BMI is normal, my body fat percentage is reasonable for an endurance athlete, I'm not skin and bones and I don't think that I need to lose more weight no matter how much I've lost. Plus, my surgeon and PCP are happy with my weight right where it is and they are professionals.

I think it's just that most people aren't used to seeing tiny people. Being just over 5' and having a small frame means I'm going to be tinier than average and there really isn't much I can do about it.

Though whenever I feel particularly tiny, I just go stand next to Coach Sherry at track and I feel like a moose! Which just shows me that it's all relative.

I guess Bullets really are evil

So, with all the controversy over the quality of protein bullets, comes this:

Agents Conduct More Raids On Vitamin Company

Apparently the makers of New Whey are in big trouble with ICE. They were raided and had antique cars and tons of other stuff confiscated. ICE brought dogs to the raid. (to sniff for ???)

Wild.